Album · 30 Aug 2025

Grandpa’s Greatest Hits (and Misses)

9 Track(s)9 Song(s)0 Instrumental(s)Humor

“Grandpa's Greatest Hits (and Misses)” turns everyday chaos into comic storytelling, letting family, animals, romance, technology, and bad luck become reasons to laugh.
“The Chicken That Outsmarted Me,” “Toilet Paper Millionaire,” and “My Funeral Had Snacks” work like three windows into the album, each revealing a different temperature of the larger theme.
Across the lyrics, images of door, time, night, and heart recur often enough to give the project its own symbolic language.
“Grandpa's Greatest Hits (and Misses)” allows each track to keep its own identity while the recurring concerns in the writing slowly build a larger conversation.
“Grandpa's Greatest Hits (and Misses)” ultimately feels less like a single statement than a collection of perspectives held inside the same universe.

Song · Track 1

The Chicken That Outsmarted Me

“The Chicken That Outsmarted Me” is carried by a playful story told with a wink rather than a lesson, but its personality comes from details such as “I woke up at dawn with my boots half-on” and “She don't cluck for nothin', she don't lay no eggs.” Those images keep the track rooted in its own story.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 2

My Horse Hates Me

“My Horse Hates Me” builds its emotional architecture around “I bought me a horse from a fella named Clyde” before opening further through “My horse hates me, she won't even blink.” What it carries is playfulness that refuses to take itself too seriously.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 3

Outhouse Blues

“Outhouse Blues” balances humour used as musical release with the vivid image “It was chili night down at Miss Patty Sue's.” The lyric becomes especially resonant when “I got the outhouse blues, can't find relief” returns as its emotional refrain.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 4

My Ex is Dating My Brother

“My Ex is Dating My Brother” refuses to remain only a mood piece; “She left me last June with a note and some jam” gives the feeling a place to live, and the song develops playfulness that refuses to take itself too seriously from there.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 5

Toilet Paper Millionaire

“Toilet Paper Millionaire” is carried by humour used as musical release, but its personality comes from details such as “When the world shut down, I stayed real calm” and “I'm a toilet paper millionaire.” Those images keep the track rooted in its own story. Here, door quietly carries the idea of threshold, choice, and transition.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 6

I Texted the Wrong Betty

“I got a new phone from my grandkid Jake” gives “I Texted the Wrong Betty” its distinctive colour. Around that line, the song builds a deliberately light-footed kind of humour and lets “Technology's cruel when your eyesight's bad” carry the final shift in perspective. Here, time quietly carries the idea of change, mortality, and the impossibility of holding a moment still.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 7

When the Pig Drove My Truck

“I had a pig named Kevin, smart as a fox” gives “When the Pig Drove My Truck” its distinctive colour. Around that line, the song builds playfulness that refuses to take itself too seriously and lets “They offered him a movie deal last spring” carry the final shift in perspective.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 8

Grandpa Got Kicked Off the Internet Again

“Grandpa Got Kicked Off the Internet Again” moves from “I tried signin' up for Facebook twice” toward “They say the cloud remembers all you do…,” tracing wit, mischief, and an easy sense of fun. Its strongest images keep the song grounded in a lived moment rather than a general message.

Lyrics, meaning & details

Song · Track 9

My Funeral Had Snacks

“My Funeral Had Snacks” places “They laid me down in a walnut box” and “Now I haunt the fridge on Sunday nights” at two ends of the same journey. Between them, the track explores a deliberately light-footed kind of humour with a strong sense of image and movement.

Lyrics, meaning & details